Letters from the Bay is a representation of waiting for lost letters from a lover. This has been portrayed through an act of fiction and performance where strangers and friends show their vulnerable moments and bares their heart out to me. The camera acts an interface between us- a medium to desire , a medium to converse. I look for fragments of me in them and also in the world around me when I am not with anyone.
The people interpret my conversations with a lost lover and I ask them what does desire mean to them? Some say they fear to desire and some say they desire to fear. I try to read it all through their faces and actions. There is a tension and a complex intimacy that develops between us.
It is also a work of memory that reminds me of my own vulnerabilities and longing for a woman, a woman whom I have waited for and have never expressed my love to. We were the best of friends and even lovers for a while. Conversing through letters on social media was the only way I could reach out to her. Before we knew it, everything dissolved and I lost her physical presence unfortunately. She is no more. I could never photograph her presence. Through this, I try to question her absence. This work talks about the longing, two humans and the spaces between them through performance and excerpts from my conversations .
A room here is the proscenium where the performance of longing occurs. A room that creates the illusion of memories of my time spent with a woman I loved and never expressed. A room, bounded by walls on all four corners, a room that can make one feel trapped , yet make someone close to you. A room where one can wait, fight, make love. It is this room that blurs the line between reality and fantasy, between Now and Forever.
What the viewer responds to are my fragments, fragments of loss longing, love, fear, desires and loss through the emotions of friends and strangers.The room becomes our shared space for our journeys are similar.
A cis-woman, a queer artist, a gay man, a lesbian woman,me and many like me responding to what I provoke in them. Does the gender or identity really matter in love? To desire? To fear? To live?
Sometimes, I like to let go of the camera and expose my own vulnerabilities to them and to confront my own fear. This is also an observation on identity of a person and how words and photographs function together to add a deeper context to my emotional response. It attempts to question the meaning of fragility and is fragility considered to be beautiful? Does strength lie in being fragile for a man and a woman alike?
I look for her presence even in the world around me and try to complete missing pieces of a puzzle, the puzzle called Life knowing well I will never be able to, till Death.
Work in Progress.